There's only so much spot cleaning one can do on their floors before they ultimately and desperately need a thorough wall-to-wall cleaning. Luckily for me, since the time my son Sebastian left home for Utah to spread his wings, the time was rare when I really had to deep clean my floors seeing as it was only Tootie and I darting about the house. However, that all changed last Spring when my son returned home and I agreed to foster my grandpups while he moved in with my parents. Ironically, as little as his dogs are, in only a matter of a month, just one corner of my house had accumulated enough shedded dog hair to make a sweater.
For the most part, I'm tidy to a fault, just ask my son who's the complete opposite of me. Not sharing my passion of regular housekeeping, we've butted heads throughout his 21 years of life on this very subject. In fact, that was the primary reason I put my foot down when he initially asked to move back in with me; it just didn't seem fair that my otherwise clean house would end up stinking like his dirty socks. Even so, for a time, I felt somewhat guilty for willingly taking in his dogs but refusing to let him come back home.
At the end of that first month, I just couldn't take it any longer; something had to be done. Propelled by the air blowing from my swamp cooler, dust bunny after dust bunny scampered across my living room like tumbleweeds tumbling in the wind across a dusty road. Although I tried to ignore them while I ate breakfast, watched television, and played with the dogs, the army of bunnies seemed to mock me from every corner as they continued to grow in size day after day. I figured if I didn't tackle this now, I ran the risk of Sebastian coming over for a visit at some point and finding out that I'd grown lax in my housekeeping responsibilities.
Taking a long hard look around my house prior to fetching the mop, broom, and vacuum, I spied with my little eye a layer of dust coating my furniture that had to be dealt with first. Once the dust had bitten the dust, I passed the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes and suddenly felt compelled to load the dishwasher, clean the sink itself, the faucets, the Keurig machine, then the microwave and before I knew it, I dismantled my range to give it a healthy scrub that it sorely needed after I fried some bacon for breakfast earlier that morning.
When the time had finally come, when I couldn't possibly go on any other cleaning tangents, I realized fairly quickly that I'd have to postpone cleaning my floors for the simple reason that the dogs had begun their afternoon nap. Tootie was rolled up in a tight ball on top of my bed and next to her was Sweet Pea, laying on her back and amusingly displaying her belly and female bits to the world. Xena (now affectionately known as June Bug) on the other hand, seeing as she was still too tiny to jump on the bed just yet, was in my bathroom, nestled on her favorite bathmat under the doggy door where she could soak up a little sun while she slept. At that point I just knew that only a monster would disrupt their slumber by running the vacuum cleaner.
So, instead of cleaning my floors at least at that point in time, it was decided for me that I take a break, especially since I'd practically cleaned the majority of the house while trying to avoid my floors for as long as humanly possible. Deserving of a little R&R, I kicked my feet up for a while until all my puppy loves naturally emerged from their peaceful slumbers. Only then did I get on with my task at hand and inadvertently scare the daylights out of them with the roaring sound of my Dyson vacuum. While Tootie knew this machine to be harmless from previous experience, Sweet Pea and June Bug, however, seemed all too convinced this ungodly beast was sent from the dark depths of Hades to prey upon little dogs such as themselves. Not wanting to inflict any more trauma upon them, I herded them all outside so they could saunter about together.
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” - Phyllis Diller
– Monica Lorenz is a contributing columnist.
The views expressed are those of the columnist and do not necessarily represent the official stance of the Daily Independent.